The Graphite mountain range is the popular name for the Ustorian Alps in AllWeather. Owned and operated by U-store SLC they will, when fully operational help to relieve one of the biggest problems onSlab, being the accumulation of stuff.
Permission was granted to build the Alps after the U-Store company had successfully captured a large chunk of inter-stellar debris which had the highly unusual and unique property of being rich in the allotrope of carbon commonly known as lead, but which is, sadly, nothing like lead at all.
A presidentially appointed committee of geo-aesthetes selected the mountain formations of Earth and oversaw their exact replication. They have now formally handed over the development to the operating company and announced that, barring a few acoustic adjustments, they are content with the final layout.
The 'Stuff' problem
Despite the Gift Armistice of 465, SlabCitizens have been drowning under the accumulation of stuff for far too long.
Now that most SlabCitizens live to an indeterminate age, the problem has been getting out of hand. Many have resorted to renting two or more apartments in order to avoid being swamped by stuff. This is unsatisfactory for everyone because it artificially raises the prices of apartments and even if the I knew it would come in handy one day moment ever arrives, the stuff in question can never be found.
Planning permission hearings for the mountains have been a focus of intense lobbying by dozens of minority interest parties from the newly-formed Slabwide Mountaineering Association (SMA) and the Extreme Snowboarding Club (ESC) to the organisers of the Alpine Yodelling Competition (AYC) and the SlabWide Cycling Federation (FCS). This latter body fought for the right to have treacherous, gravel covered roads cut into the sides of the lower slopes of many of the more picturesque mountains in order that they could hold bi-cycle bicycle races lasting an average of twenty days and covering thousands of kilometres. Everyone suspects the FCS are insane but they proved to be the best financed and organised and have very largely got what they wanted.
As the name suggests, the surfaces of the mountains are considerably more slippery than had been originally intended. The SMA have lodged a formal protest which will undoubtedly come to nothing. However the reverse snow-line that is left behind by the traversing sun is an embarrassment to everyone and it is hoped that a solution will be found before the official opening date.
Footnotes and references
- ↑ even though you wouldn’t give it house-room
- ↑ even though you didn’t want it
- ↑ and not the junk your partner says it is
- ↑ but probably will be once you can get at them
- ↑ it is generally accepted that the pharmaceutical companies were bankrolling the cycling lobby.[citation ??]
- ↑ if anyone knows when this is going to be, can they please tell us? Anyone?