Tricia-Belle Medusa-Smythe

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Prime Minister of Australia 2017-2021 and 2023-2032.

Known affectionately as Tricky Smithy to most of her followers, Medusa-Smythe had what is arguably the most colourful career of any Australian politician in history[1].

During her time in office she;

  • was impeached twice
  • was shot at fourteen times[2]
  • had three illegitimate children (all by different fathers[3])
  • was indicted on seventeen counts of corruption and bribery[4]
  • fraudulently sold Tasmania to a global online search company and granted it tax-free status and exemption from all intellectual property laws
  • failed to turn up for more than 50% of all prime-ministerial duties
  • was once found lying in a Sydney gutter reeking of gin with her tights around her ankles
  • started or was allegedly involved in four fist fights with members of the opposition (all on the same day)
  • disgraced herself in a potted plant during a visit to Buckingham Palace
  • was voted PILF of the year 2016-2023
  • won a nuclear submarine in a poker game with the French President which she generously donated to the nation[5]
  • declared war on Switzerland after an unfortunate incident involving a cuckoo clock and a banana[6]
  • personally insulted 35 heads of state, all the members of her cabinet and at least 50% of the Australian electorate she came into contact with
  • would assault anyone who woke her before midday
  • never ate a vegetable in her life

Consequently she was loved and revered by all.

It also didn't hurt that the world's largest extra-crude oil reserves were discovered off the north-west coast of Western Australia during the first six months of her first term of office. The subsequent tax wind-fall allowed her to;

  • abolish all personal income and purchase tax
  • make Friday after midday an official part of the weekend
  • hand-out free barbecues to anyone who needed one[7]
  • institute the CAOF laws
  • declare independence and personally kick-out the Governor General
  • alter the constitution to elevate herself to the position of life-long president[8]

Notes

  1. and that really is saying a lot
  2. in all cases by members of her administration, none of whom could hit a barn door at twenty paces
  3. as evidenced by clear and indisputable racial differences
  4. which accounted for the two year gap in her tenure. She was acquitted on all counts having bribed the judge, jury and most of the media.
  5. while apparently she did have personal plans for it, she couldn't stand the smell of garlic
  6. the invasion orders were, naturally, ignored by the Australian armed forces and, as Medusa-Smythe had forgotten about it when she woke up the next day, a peace treaty has never been signed. To this day a state of war exists between the two countries.
  7. this offer was somewhat under-subscribed
  8. after which she immediately retired, laughing