Asynchronology: Difference between revisions

From Slabscapedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
mNo edit summary
mNo edit summary
Line 3: Line 3:
Time is not a constant, unless you are waiting for a bus.
Time is not a constant, unless you are waiting for a bus.


Time is pretty flexible really and all depends on your job. If your job is maintaining the gravonometric sewage separators in an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_Centauri Alpha Centauri] shuttle that travels very, very fast<ref>like nearly 300 kilo-klicks per second</ref>, when you get back to Earth after a long, hard week you will be considerably younger than your twin brother and in need of a hot shower before going out to see your friends<ref>who have probably forgotten you</ref> and bragging about your job in space. That's fine from your point of view because you always intended to outlive him anyway, but the problem with this is that your employer will only pay you for a week's work and your brother will be complaining that he's had to cover several year's rent while you were away. This is because you have neglected to insist on Earth asynchronology in your employment contract. It's your fault for not reading the small print<ref>or having it read to you, seeing what you do for a living</ref><ref>and what are you doing living with your older twin brother at your age anyway?</ref>.
Time is pretty flexible really and all depends on your job. If your job is maintaining the gravonometric sewage separators in an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_Centauri Alpha Centauri] shuttle that travels very, very fast<ref>like nearly 300 kiloklicks per second</ref>, when you get back to Earth after a long, hard week you will be considerably younger than your twin brother and in need of a hot shower before going out to see your friends<ref>who have probably forgotten you</ref> and bragging about your job in space. That's fine from your point of view because you always intended to outlive him anyway, but the problem with this is that your employer will only pay you for a week's work and your brother will be complaining that he's had to cover several year's rent while you were away. This is because you have neglected to insist on Earth asynchronology in your employment contract. It's your fault for not reading the small print<ref>or having it read to you, seeing what you do for a living</ref><ref>and what are you doing living with your older twin brother at your age anyway?</ref>.


Two lessons;
Two lessons;

Revision as of 16:12, 2 March 2009

Oh no, here we go again. It's about Time. Trying to explain non-synchronous time systems to someone with a linear time-based organic processor for a brain is like trying to describe colour to the congenitally blind.

Time is not a constant, unless you are waiting for a bus.

Time is pretty flexible really and all depends on your job. If your job is maintaining the gravonometric sewage separators in an Alpha Centauri shuttle that travels very, very fast[1], when you get back to Earth after a long, hard week you will be considerably younger than your twin brother and in need of a hot shower before going out to see your friends[2] and bragging about your job in space. That's fine from your point of view because you always intended to outlive him anyway, but the problem with this is that your employer will only pay you for a week's work and your brother will be complaining that he's had to cover several year's rent while you were away. This is because you have neglected to insist on Earth asynchronology in your employment contract. It's your fault for not reading the small print[3][4].

Two lessons;

  • time is never on your side
  • twins always find something to moan about


Notes

  1. like nearly 300 kiloklicks per second
  2. who have probably forgotten you
  3. or having it read to you, seeing what you do for a living
  4. and what are you doing living with your older twin brother at your age anyway?