Asynchronology

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Oh no, here we go again. It's about Time. Trying to explain non-synchronous time systems to someone with a linear time-based organic processor for a brain is like trying to describe colour to the congenitally blind.

Time is not a constant, unless you are waiting for a bus.

Time is pretty flexible really and all depends on your job. If your job is maintaining the gravonometric sewage separators in an Alpha Centauri shuttle that travels very, very fast[1], when you get back to Earth after a long, hard week you will be considerably younger than your twin brother and in need of a hot shower before going out to see your friends[2] and bragging about your job in space. That's fine from your point of view because you always intended to outlive him anyway, but the problem with this is that your employer will only pay you for a week's work and your brother will be complaining that he's had to cover several year's rent while you were away. This is because you have neglected to insist on Earth asynchronolgy in your employment contract. It's your fault for not reading the small print[3][4].

Two lessons;

  • time is never on your side
  • twins always find something to moan about
  1. like nearly 300 klicks per second
  2. who have probably forgotten you
  3. or having it read to you, seeing what you do for a living
  4. and what are you doing living with your older twin brother anyway at your age?