Fuck

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Minor Deity of the Relativists.

Fuck is supposed to sit on the left hand of God with Dice on the right, but in practice he is never there.

According to the doctrine of the Church of Relativity, Fuck (who lived in a large Stately Home[1]) was sent out by God to create chaos in the Universe by playing with it. Dice, on the other hand, was not allowed by God to play with the Universe at all.

Hence, according to the relativists, if anything doesn't work as it should, it's because of having been played with by Fuck (it's been Fucked, it's Fucked, etc.). In addition, if someone wishes to abandon an idea, goal or give-up on something that has become tedious, too hard or simply not worth the effort, then it's usual to donate the task to Fuck (Fuck it, ta Fuck wi' it).

An interesting aspect of Fuck playing with the Universe (Fucking about) is that, as any child psychologist will tell you, play is a fundamental part of learning. This meant that over the millennia, Fuck became extremely knowledgeable about all the things that no-one else knew (gave a Fuck) about. It was in this way that his name became synonymous with unknown facts (Fuck knows).

Not to be confused with fuck, which is a swear word.


Footnotes and references

  1. The LHoG House or Fuck Hall