Difference between revisions of "Tricia-Belle Medusa-Smythe"
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Latest revision as of 13:56, 13 March 2010
Prime Minister of Australia 2017-2021 and 2023-2032.
Known affectionately as Tricky Smithy to most of her followers, Medusa-Smythe had what is arguably the most colourful career of any Australian politician in history.
During her time in office she;
- was impeached twice
- was shot at fourteen times
- had three illegitimate children (all by different fathers)
- was indicted on seventeen counts of corruption and bribery
- fraudulently sold Tasmania to a global online search company and granted it tax-free status and exemption from all intellectual property laws
- failed to turn up for more than 50% of all prime-ministerial duties
- was once found lying in a Sydney gutter reeking of gin with her tights around her ankles
- started or was allegedly involved in four fist fights with members of the opposition (all on the same day)
- disgraced herself in a potted plant during a visit to Buckingham Palace
- was voted PILF of the year 2016-2023
- won a nuclear submarine in a poker game with the French President which she generously donated to the nation
- declared war on Switzerland after an unfortunate incident involving a cuckoo clock and a banana
- personally insulted 35 heads of state, all the members of her cabinet and at least 50% of the Australian electorate she came into contact with
- would assault anyone who woke her before midday
- never ate a vegetable in her life
Consequently she was loved and revered by all.
It also didn't hurt that the world's largest extra-crude oil reserves were discovered off the north-west coast of Western Australia during the first six months of her first term of office. The subsequent tax wind-fall allowed her to;
- abolish all personal income and purchase tax
- make Friday after midday an official part of the weekend
- hand-out free barbecues to anyone who needed one
- institute the CAOF laws
- declare independence and personally kick-out the Governor General
- alter the constitution to elevate herself to the position of life-long president
- and that really is saying a lot
- in all cases by members of her administration, none of whom could hit a barn door at twenty paces
- as evidenced by clear and indisputable racial differences
- which accounted for the two year gap in her tenure. She was acquitted on all counts having bribed the judge, jury and most of the media.
- while apparently she did have personal plans for it, she couldn't stand the smell of garlic
- the invasion orders were, naturally, ignored by the Australian armed forces and, as Medusa-Smythe had forgotten about it when she woke up the next day, a peace treaty has never been signed. To this day a state of war exists between the two countries.
- this offer was somewhat under-subscribed
- after which she immediately retired, laughing