Dark matter

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Due to recent results from experiments carried out by Fencer Dean Twenty the previous, long-held, theory has been replaced.

Previous theory

Darkness = absence of light and light = moving photons.

Photons were considered 'very weird things' (some might even say strange). Sometimes they act like particles, sometimes they act like waves. They have no mass when they are moving, even though they are deflected by gravity, but do have momentum which can be transferred to physical objects (like solar sails).

It was thought that because mass is converted into energy and emitted as light (most typically by stellar bodies), when photons eventually lost their momentum their kinetic energy would convert back into mass. The universe has been shining for around 14 billion years, so that's a lot of photons and a lot of mass forming invisible, dark spheres around the galaxies.

Therefore: dark matter = stationary photons[1].

Current theory

Dark matter is ordinary matter that is out of phase with the matter in the universe that we, as observers, exist within. It is, therefore, unobservable but can be detected by its gravitational influence on matter in 'our' observable universe. As a consequence, it is possible for what we, as observers, currently label as 'normal'[2] matter to pass through dark matter[3] without anyone noticing. F.D Twenty has demonstrated phase transition of matter under controlled laboratory conditions and insists that the required conditions would, almost by default, have been present at the moment of creation of matter in our universe[4].

Conclusion

As usual, everyone is waiting for a better theory to come along, or at least a better explanation.


Notes

  1. deemed by the theory's proponents to be obvious and self-evident
  2. there is already speculation following Twenty's publication on the SlabWide pre-sume feeds that dark matter is actually normal matter and that the matter which exists in our observable universe only stays in its out-of-phase state by the constant consumption of vast amounts of dark energy
  3. or is it the other way around?
  4. and an unknowable amount of other universes