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Realtors[1] are highly trained reality therapists who act as grounders or bottom liners[2] in order to return their client's perception to what is generally accepted as reality.


There are many ongoing debates surrounding this concept, some of which can be summarised as;

  • who decides what reality is?
  • how can you tell if what you perceive as reality, isn't?
  • who grounds the grounders?
  • what's so great about reality anyway? (see next section)

Reality Sucks

Reality can be difficult to deal with.

This is true.

Many choose to avoid this truth and escape reality by various means ranging from self-delusion, summersion, drugs, sex and gaming to religion and voluntary insanity[tautology?]. That's OK. Just remember that no matter how out of touch with reality you get, there will always be a trained specialist to help you back[3].

Reality Creep

Reality is non-static and subject to a continuous process of change and revision. For example, there is no doubt that a sixteenth-century Earth-bound farmer's reality is different from that of the average SlabCitizen, however, Realtors, in order to do their work, must embrace the concept of absolute reality and therefore have a tendency to ground their clients into a reality which is fixed. In order to counteract this inertia, a realtor's personal sense of reality is allowed to range within prescribed limits and if these are breached, they are re-grounded by realtors who are still real. Unfortunately, this has led to a progressive reality creep and now no one has a clue what reality is[4].

Reality Shifts

Shifts in reality are usually prompted by traumatic discoveries (for example, see Consciousness energy). When this occurs, humanity must endure a crash re-education during which what was previously thought to be reality has to be discarded like a disproved rumour and a new reality adopted overnight. This can be a traumatic experience for many but is usually an irrecoverable catastrophe for realtors. Reality shifts, therefore, are inevitably followed by a period of endemic near-insanity until new realtors can be trained up and society can be freshly grounded in the new reality[5].


  1. not to be confused with estate agent, but then, how could you?
  2. although this term is fraught with double meaning and often the butt of onSlab humour (sorry about that one)
  3. this section sponsored by Spade a Spade realtors
  4. actually, it was always so, but as long as we all pretend it's not we'll be fine ... really
  5. bearing in mind how often reality shifts onSlab, without Sis to ground us, we would be seriously diced